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 One of the valuable skills that help us overcome even the most difficult challenges is the ability to let things we have no control over happen. If we live in harmony with ourselves and with the world, nothing bad will happen to us, which means that what cannot be influenced can be trusted to the universe. However, this skill has the unpleasant side - the temptation to always go with the flow, relieving ourselves of all responsibility. By relieving ourselves of responsibility for something little, the universe will make us responsible for something big. "If you don't want to carry one bag, than carry two..." - this is one of the many simple laws of the universe that stimulates our development... Therefore, it is important to learn to distinguish between accepting the inevitable and what we must change.

 Well, why do you need a partner? Maybe to make up for something? Then the relationship is DOOMED to disappointment . This is where the proverbial "woman should" and "man should" come from, in other words, the attempts to change, to force, to oblige, to harass and so on. ⠀ Have you learned to meet your own needs so that you don't make your partner a means for accomplishing your needs and just love her/him unconditionally? Are you able to be self-sufficient and find resources so that you don't exhaust the other? Can you accept the fact that the other also has needs and wants and nevertheless keep in touch with him or her? ⠀ Maybe it's high time to face yourself, heal your pain, meet your needs, learn to live with yourself in harmony and thus make your relationship warmer, closer, and more peaceful?

A person is like a layer cake 🍰 The bottom layer is the basis given to us by nature. It consists of genetics and temperament. Although a genetic predisposition is passed down from parents,  it does not define our future. The next layer is the child's early development, his or her traumas and decisions that shape character. Yes, character is indeed formed by traumas, and that's okay (parents can breathe a sigh of relief). ⠀ And then life gives us numerous events, people, and experiences, and that's the next layer of a cake. It is superimposed on the previous "layers" and the result is a unique, special and inimitable person.

There are only two things you need to learn to do well in order to create the reality you want: ▫️ Stop negative thinking . ▫️ Redirect your energy and attention to what you want to create in your reality. ⠀⠀ This is very SIMPLE advice. This skill is easy and enjoyable as well. Just try to use it! ⠀⠀ What if the reality around you really likes to grab your attention and keep it on something you don't like? Don't give in! Change the game and move towards your goal. ⠀⠀ That means to create YOUR OWN reality.

  If someone hurts you, it can give rise to a lot of inner anger and even hatred. It's normal, and it's important to let yourself accept all these emotions, to express them in a healthy manner. That will help you feel your power and get halfway through your recovery process. However, many people prefer having that milestone of resentment and hatred round their neck. This goes on for ages. Complete recovery is freedom not only from pain, but also from hatred and the desire to blame. Complete recovery gets rid of your willingness to confront your abuser as well. Just a smile, forgiveness, and a wish for good luck in his path.

  It should be easy from the very beginning. From the first minutes. Meeting the person who makes you feel like you've known each other long is the first sign of good luck. Simple is best. Complexity is bad. You don't have to woo anyone, you don't have to adjust to anyone and you don't have to chase anyone. Do it once, you will repeat it every day, and the only thing you will see in response is a cranky dissatisfied face. If a match did not happen immediately, then he/she is just not your type. Complicated relationships are good only for those who are bored and who have a lot of spare time.

 It's very simple, a purpose has a DEADLINE! Work through your dream and set a clear deadline. How is a goal different from a plan? Plans are the regular efforts you're going to take to achieve your goal. Define your step-by-step actions with precise dates and clear descriptions. Finally, only a PLAN confirmed by methodical ACTIONS makes our dream COME TRUE!

 If you start respecting yourself, then👇🏻 ▫️ The relationship with yourself will improve. You will take time for self-care: physically, mentally and psychologically, you will stop communicating with unpleasant people, you will also begin to filter information, etc. ▫️ You will get interest in yourself and learn to love yourself, so you won't have to wait for love from someone else to fill the emptiness inside, but be grateful to yourself. ▫️ You will be able to get out of toxic relationships. You will be able to avoid unpleasant situations, which means you will completely change your life.

 To begin with, this is not a zone in which we feel emotionally and psychologically comfortable. In fact, it is a set of habitual actions, activities, impressions, circumstances, choices that are well entrenched in our lives and perceived by our brain as a safe zone. The warmer and more comfortable your comfort zone is, the harder it is to dare to change your life.  It's indeed really difficult to do. You may think you can quickly change what you've been creating for years. Yes, you can. However, Dramatic changes cause significant setbacks. That's because your brain won't let you just get it out of its comfort zone. So IF YOU REALLY INTEND TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE, do it gradually and methodically.

 Techniques such as yoga, meditation, Zen, usually help you to restore contact with your inner self. These are ways that can help you, forget about the periphery, leave it for a while and relax in your inner being so deeply that the external factors lose weight, and you can focus internally. All meditation techniques are aimed at making you brave, strong, ready for adventure, so that you can stop holding on and allow you to discover yourself.

  Workday planning not only helps us organize our day, but also use our work time efficiently and thus reduce it. The main principles are: ▫️ Build your to-do list ▫️ Set priorities ▫️ Write down the priorities ▫️ Set aside some time for personal matters ▫️ Set clear goals The ALPEN method A - to-do list of all planned Activities L - estimating Length of time P - Planning buffer time E - Establishing prioritized decisions N - Noting down level of success 1️⃣ Make a list of activities. Write down out all the tasks that need to be done today. 2️⃣ Estimate how much time you need. 3️⃣ Plan for buffer time. Time when you do not occupy yourself with anything. 4️⃣ Prioritize tasks. 1. Important and urgent. 2. Important but not urgent. 3. Urgent but unimportant. 4. Neither important nor urgent

  It's a nightmare when... you've been looking forward to something, and then the dream finally begins to come true, but a variety of FEARS suddenly come with it. Fears that something will go wrong, that nothing will work out. They don't let you sleep or even live... What's to be done ❓ Take a piece of paper and a pen. For example, you're worried that your plans might go awry and you won't be able to go where you planned to go. Ask yourself the question, "What would I do if it happened?" And give a clear answer: "I would stay home." Then ask yourself, "What good changes could occur if it happened?" And answer, for example: "I would visit my sister, I promised her a long time ago." The truth is, when you give your brain alternatives and imagine possible consequences following the particular action, anxiety is reduced and it becomes easier to accept the situation.

  It would seem, where's the challenge ❓ But in fact most of us not only have no idea how to listen and hear, but we constantly interrupt the other person in order to attract attention to ourselves. Sometimes people just need to be listened to without any interference. The ability to listen carefully shows that you pay attention and respect the other person, and this behavior shows that you are at least well mannered and tactful. It is important to keep in mind that hearing and listening are still different things. HEARING is the passive intake of sound, while LISTENING is the act of intentionally working to comprehend the sounds, to analyze the received information and to give a response to his/her words.

 ▫️it will isolate you from the noisy environment and help concentrate on your work ▫️the dullest subject can become moderately tolerable ▫️when we listen to our favorite music, our brain produces dopamine - the pleasure hormone. This way you’ll enjoy studying more! 💡What music should you listen to? Obviously, the favorite kind! However, if you start to sing along or think the lyrics over, you’ll quickly distract yourself. That’s why it’s best to listen to the music without lyrics. Personally, I prefer to listen lo-fi mixes online.

  If somebody offended you, it’s because they noticed you Before you get upset because someone dumped a lot of dirt on you, understand: this person took the time  to tell you his opinion . He found you, noticed and appreciated the product you made. Well, yes, he hates you. But you took up his time because he spends minutes talking about his hatred. Even if you don't answer anything (and you shouldn't) , you've already won. He doesn't want to know anything about you, but you're already on his radar. And then, if someone expresses hate, this is the most that can happen. Life goes on, the Earth is still spinning, someone is offended, whereas you have become smarter. A more tragic scenario: someone complains about you publicly . Nothing to fear, because people pay attention only to what concerns them personally. Therefore, social media and Twitter feeds will quickly forget about you.

 I want you to come to a basic comprehension - you need to talk about yourself in terms of how these people could benefit from you, and why they should, for example, hire you. Why would they want to do that? ⠀ And this is where you should present your capabilities, experience, projects that could benefit the company which is going to hire you.  Emphasize the value of your work and your participation in the company by showing that you are indeed precious. ⠀ 🔸For example, if you're a real estate agent, say: I help people find good housing. ⠀ 🔸If you're a financial advisor, say: I help people plan for their financial future. ⠀ 🔸If a hairdresser: I help women find their own style and match their hair to their face.

  Remove ALL memories of the object of your suffering. Photographs, gifts, and other reminders all go to waste. Don't listen to the music you used to listen TOGETHER or visit YOUR places. Turn over a new leaf. Now is the time to learn to play the guitar, start cooking, singing, learning Spanish. LOAD UP YOUR BRAIN so it has no time to reflect or remember. LOAD UP YOUR BODY. Physical activity will not only distract you, but it will also STIMULATE your altered senses.🧘♂️ COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS. Even if you don't really want to. Loneliness makes you vulnerable, impairs sleep, and increases morbidity and mortality. So force yourself out for walks and hang out with friends.👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

  Every morning 📎 ▫️ a glass of cool water; ▫️ a quick workout; ▫️ taking care of your hair; ▫️ facial care; ▫️ body care; ▫️ delicious and healthy breakfast; ▫️ planning; ▫️ meditation; ▫️ 10 new words in other language; ▫️ half-hour hobby. Every day 📎 ▫️ 1 foreign language class; ▫️ reading; ▫️ evening facial and body care; ▫️ go to bed before 11:00 p.m. Every week 📎 ▫️ go to 3 workouts; ▫️ watch 1 movie; ▫️ listen to 1 lecture/podcast; ▫️ visit a new place; ▫️ housecleaning; ▫️ weekly review; ▫️ keeping your eyes on the goal.

 ▫️ Speak directly, without innuendo and excuses; ▫️ Consider the other person's state of mind; ▫️ If the person is busy, call and come as arranged; ▫️ Don't lie; ▫️ Take responsibility for your own actions, don't shift it to anyone; ▫️ Don't write more than two to three messages if you do not get a response; ▫️ Don't pretend to be an expert when it comes to personal relationships. Communication is a dialogue. Under no circumstances correspondence be turned into harassment.

  If you think you should stop working on a task only when it's done "perfectly," you'll have a bunch of unfinished tasks cluttering up your life. It's the same applies to waiting for "perfect conditions" or the "perfect mood" to complete some task. In that case, you will have to wait a very long time. 👉🏻 Don't put off tasks and learn to mark them as complete at the right moment. Once you get to the "good enough" point, move on to the next task. 👉🏻 If you have a project that you can't finish "good enough" right now, try to take a break and get back to it after you complete a few other, smaller tasks.

 ▫️Drink more water. Water makes your brain think and remember faster. ▫️Give yourself time to rest. It's worth taking at least a 10-minute break so that your brain has time to relax. ▫️Write down your plans. To make sure you don't forget anything and get everything done quickly, start writing down your plans for the evening, day, etc.. This way you will see your goals in front of you and it will motivate you to do your best. ▫️Don't be lazy. You should always fight your laziness, no matter how hard it is. The sooner you beat laziness, the sooner you will notice your productivity. ▫️Try to spend less time on your phone. Thus you will have more free time to devote to yourself or your studies.

 When we are:👇🏻 • Trying to control others. • Doing what we don't want to do. • Listening to others, not ourselves. • Watching the news. • Communicating with anxious people. • Unsure how to say "no". • Discussing doctors, politics, education, gas prices. • Comparing ourselves with others • Envious of someone else's success. • Waiting for someone to change. • Waiting to be rescued. • Barely resting. • Not solving our problems.