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 They are constantly trying to sell it to us on Instagram, beautiful girls in shiny cars, with successful husbands and children sitting on golden pots in an embrace with a volume of Hawking’s book. People quite literally HAVE TO be happy, otherwise they will not "fit" modern standards. But happiness is not about standards. it's not something monumental and thorough, it's not something you can buy or sell , it's not even something you can post to your stories... The ability to be grateful, to be able to notice the good in every day, being surprised by the colors of the horizon at sunset, the taste of your favorite coffee, the smell of a loved one. It is to love life in all its manifestations today, now, it doesnt wait for you to get rich, move, or buy something... If you don't know how to do this, then even meeting ALL the standards will not make you happy.

  Adherence to deadlines and a responsible attitude toward tasks are not a priority for such employees. They are most often described as unreliable and unable to follow a plan. These are people who prefer to do things their own way instead of sticking to standards. This is not always a bad thing, but when an important deadline is looming, such behavior is just annoying. To work productively with such a colleague, you need to up the ante. He or she is unlikely to consider it important to respond to your request on time, but will probably quickly change his/her mind when they learn that the boss is overseeing the task.

  Picture a situation where a large family gathered for a festive dinner, everyone is lively discussing something, and suddenly your aunt asks you a question: "Are you going to get married?" Silence hung in the air, and now all attention is focused on you. At this moment, it is important not to get lost and say, for example, the following: " This has nothing to do with the family feast. Let's discuss the upcoming vacation together instead”. ☝🏻Such a firm, but clear and polite answer will make it clear to the interlocutors that you know how to define your personal boundaries — in the future it will help avoid such awkward conversations.

 Use this trick if you need to get someone to like you immediately. It also works the other way around. Tell something personal about yourself to earn a person's trust. But don't spill your guts at once. Give it out gradually. Repeat your interlocutor's body language. If both repeat each other's movements and facial expressions, it means that the contact is established. That way you can even check how well the conversation is going. Try to sit a little differently and see if the person does the same.

 Deadlines can discipline, focus, and mobilize. As well as drive you into prostration, panic, and even paralysis. To avoid becoming a victim of a deadline, it's better: ▫️ not to try to meet very tight deadlines and take time to spare (you can say like, "I don't work well under deadlines. Please give me one more day" ); ▫️ to plan everything and start doing things ahead of time without any distractions, keep focused; ▫️ to split the project into sprints; ▫️ and, of course, not to put everything off until the last days/hours.

 HR managers tell us that their company has a friendly environment, and that teamwork and honesty are appreciated. So you get the impression that everyone is your best friend. Don't believe it. We all tend to compete with each other, and it would be just naive to pretend otherwise. There's nothing wrong with that. Just don't treat your coworkers like friends, don't expect too much from them. People actually work to get money for their job. It would be a mistake to think that they can sacrifice their salary for the sake of friendship. Base your relationship on a different model. ☝🏻 Be friendly, have fun with your colleagues, but above all remain professional.

 Whenever a relationship or opportunity comes to an end, there is always difficult times of mourning and sad feelings associated with it. Respect that. Remember that every end entails a beginning of something new. Everything that should eventually end – ends, and you must be happy with it. Moreover, every time it happens you probably realize this fact at heart.  ☝🏻 But what can actually change your life is your ability to take time to invest in your future instead of dwelling on the past.

 Take a piece of paper and divide it into three parts . In the first part write down your ten strengths , in another part write down your ten achievements , and in the third part write down ten things you like about yourself. ☝🏻 It is not necessary to write down the most significant achievements or major character traits. Being able to bake the perfect pizza may actually be considered a power. This list is just for reminding yourself how talented you are 🤍

 Too easy work presents no opportunity for growth. Moreover, it makes us feel bored and dissatisfied with life. Look for tasks that require effort exceeding your overall level of responsibility. When you feel that you have completely mastered the situation, continue gradually moving toward the new level. An important remark: don't overdo it. Totally overwhelming goals can cause panic, which will not allow you to concentrate, so you need to maintain a healthy balance. The task should be slightly beyond your existing skills, but it should be doable anyway.

 In every company, there is one reliable person who brings most results. Naturally, he or she is treated differently. And naturally, some people are jealous and think it is wrong. So you can moan about injustice as much as you want, but it won't help neither you nor your employer. The truth is that some employees are irreplaceable and others are not.   Your aim is to join the first group. 

 Sad stories eventually get old, and even we get tired of repeating them in our heads. The truth is that even in those moments when you are a victim and something unpleasant is about to happen to you, do you have a choice where you keep going? In the past people could control certain things, isn’t it wonderful that they can't do that anymore? When you are ready to admit that you need help. Even heroes sometimes need help. Not everyone has to handle everything by themselves, and that's why we have friends and family to be around. Although you might be strong and capable of a lot, recognizing that there is too much of something is important so that you don't hurt yourself by trying to do too much alone.

 — Don't try to read other people's minds and don't expect others to be able to read your thoughts. Communicate if you wonder about something that matters to you. ⠀ — Don't expect all the people want to be your friends. We are all different, so we all like different things. ⠀ — Get rid of the monster of jealousy and only compare yourself to your previous self, no one else. ⠀ — Stay out of pointless dramas in other people's lives (except in critical situations and those where you can help). ⠀ — Finish things you start and then start to do something else. ⠀ — Accept the fact that there're things you can't change or control and focus on those you can influence.

 Vacation is sacred. It doesn't matter who you are - a manager, a top manager or an entrepreneur — it's unreasonable to accumulate weeks of rest: you only multiply fatigue which leads to burnout. Therefore, the main tasks of a vacation are to give the brain a rest, reduce stress, experience new emotions and acquaintances, recharge energy and strengthen family relationships.

 Very few of us are in full control of our lives, fewer make informed decisions and play by our own rules. We often do what other people want us to do. Sometimes we blame the circumstances and do not believe that we can change anything. And more often we just perform the usual ritual naturally, without even noticing how our everyday days fly by. It's time to wake up and take control!

 For many people, setting goals has long been an annual December tradition. But how to plan for the future so that you don’t shed tears over unrealized goals at the end of the year? 👉🏻 Choose 12 major goals for the year. The first and most important thing is to allocate 12 tasks for the year, one for each month. You might think that’s too much. Definitely no! We are, unfortunately, prone to apathy and procrastination. However, if you looked at your goal in detail, you'd be surprised at how quickly it can be achieved. Make a to do list with 12 tasks on a sheet of paper and pin it on the wall, so that all year long this list will be before your eyes and will not let you retreat. ☝🏻 Two simple rules for choosing a goal: ▫️ Set goals that are easy to measure (for example, to write 10 articles, so you'll know the exact deadline). ▫️ Imagine that the task has already been accomplished and think about whether it would make you happy.

 Personal growth coaches are often billionaires, celebrities, and politicians. They have come a long way to achieve success, and their accomplishments are extremely impressive. But everyone has his own path, so that would be just unwise to think and act like Gates, Zuckerberg, Oprah, Martin Luther, or anyone else. Living another person's life, imitating someone, is a huge mistake. Repeating someone else's way is unlikely, because copying is always doomed to failure. In order to grow as a self-sufficient person, express your individuality instead of using templates, and think in your own way, not like billionaires.

 Sometimes it can be very difficult to say no. Especially if you are used to achieving your goals and doing everything carefully. It is not easy to change a job that is unsuitable for you, to give up a difficult relationship. You have to admit that you are not coping and something is beyond your capabilities. And this is extremely unpleasant. When psychologists advise setting boundaries, avoiding excessive workload and not imposing excessive obligations on yourself, it seems that they are talking about simple and obvious things. In fact, it's not fun at all to explain to the boss why you are increasingly taking time off "due to illness". It's even less pleasant to finally admit that you can't pull off a full-time job and leave your current place

 Sometimes we develop firm erroneous beliefs, which are extremely difficult to overcome. It seems to you that they are a part of you, but they are not. A person is plastic by nature and can accept any attitude if he forms it long enough and persistently. This ability can be useful. Track down the beliefs that prevent you from living: low self-esteem, lack of opportunity for change, and so on. Ask yourself questions, become your own psychiatrist. For example, if you feel uncomfortable in the company, ask yourself: "Why did I decide that shyness is my natural quality?", "What prevents me from communicating freely?", "Have I always felt squeezed in the company of other people?", "When did it start?".

  " At your age, it's time to get married and have children "  The addressee of the message may be 20 or 40 years old, but the meaning is the same: his life path does not correspond to the generally accepted one.  The average scenario looks like this: get an education, find a job, get married, give birth to your first child in a year or two, then think about the second. And if you somehow do not meet public expectations, then it is perceived as a tragedy.  At any age and under any circumstances, the decision to have a child should be meaningful, otherwise, instead of one happy person, you risk getting several unhappy ones.

 The best way to cope with laziness is to find motivation in activities you really love. You should strive to do only what you want to do. Within the law and within the bounds of reason, of course ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ▫️ Use less electronics and take more time off the Internet. So much use of electronic devices affects our brain health.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ▫️ Don't be afraid to stay alone. Take a day of silence once a month . ▫️ Write a plan of tasks (working or personal). After you write a plan, you'll have a burst of motivation to do all those things. ⠀ ▫️ Start eating healthy. You are what you eat. Stop eating junk food that only ruins your health. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ▫️ Run in the morning. Exercising in the morning will make you feel more energized throughout the day.

 Let's do an interesting research to understand what kind of environment you have: supportive, helping you grow, or the one that slows you down?  ▫️Write the names of 10 people you talk to.  ▫️If a person is positive, he or she is in most cases optimistic, does not complain, is interested in self education, then put down a “+” next to his or her name.  ▫️ If a person is always negative, always dissatisfied, complains, gossips, then we put “-.” ⠀  Now we have two types of people: inspirers and firefighters.  ⠀  ✔️Inspirers are positive-minded people who will always support you with kind words. ✔️Firefighters will extinguish your enthusiasm at the first opportunity.  From this day on — try to communicate more often with those who have a positive influence on you, and minimize communication with those who break plans and spoil the mood. 

  🔻Do you think that his love is not real because he pays little attention? 🔻If you found out that it is true, how would you feel? 🔻How can you get this feeling in another way? 🔻Can you feed yourself with love? If so, how? 🔻What would you like to ask a partner about? What to find out? 🔻Is there any anxiety due to the fact that the relationship is on the verge of breaking up? 🔻If so, is this belief reasonable or do you just feel that way? ⠀ On the one hand, we are familiar with that feeling when we are not loved. And yes, this feeling can be justified. It’s as if we tend to transfer old experience (our own or someone else's) to the current relationship. ⠀ As for true love, try to understand: what is it? How do you feel it, what do you do and what do you get in return? And most importantly, gradually give this love to yourself. Then you definitely won't make a mistake.

 Planning is an essential, useful thing. Firstly, because it saves you from keeping all the tasks planned for the day in your head and worrying about how not to lose sight of them.  Secondly, by making a to-do list you'll never forget what you need. A piece of paper or a mobile app will do everything for you. All you have to do is write down certain tasks, schedule them for days of the week, and stick to your plan.

 ▫️The first step in overcoming any bad habits is being aware of them. Observe yourseld. Instead of engaging in self-condemnation, try to get to know yourself by analyzing the way you behave. ⠀ ▫️Change your social circle. Take note which people are present in your life and what is the essence of your relationship with them. Perhaps, if you objectively evaluate your environment, you will see that you give people more than you get from them. ⠀⠀ ▫️Never forget about your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself. For personal use only, make a list of your inherent strengths and what you do really well. ▫️Keep calm and try to mitigate stress. Avoid the hustle and bustle. Develop stress resistance. ▫️You will gain self-confidence if you do the tasks you set yourself.

  There's only bad news everywhere, and now you can't even go out? Here are some steps for your rescue: ▫️ Distract yourself with completely different types of activities. This is necessary for psychological rest of the brain. ▫️Start a routine and strictly perform it daily. For example, morning stretch, 20 new foreign words, sort out your old things, etc. A clear daily to-do list is needed! ▫️Minimize the news about the coronavirus, as they become addictive, like adrenaline. ▫️If you can, meditate and be creative. ▫️Quit alcohol, sad songs and sad movies. ▫️ Go out at least for groceries or on the balcony. Fresh air and vitamin D are necessary to protect immune system, as well as to relieve stress. ▫️Learn something new, use this time to grow.

  Do whatever you want Most often it means: "Don't even think about doing what you want, otherwise I’ll get upset”. The parent makes it clear that he does not approve of your decision, but does not directly say it. ☝🏻This way the manipulator exploits your guilty conscience, making it harder to act freely.

 Daydreaming and imagining your achievements is a big mistake. You need to constantly think about what you want and visualize the result in detail. Because, this way, a person not only ceases to be present and self-aware, but also plunges into a fantasy world, when he could have begun to act on bringing his dream to life. Let's say that in order to find a dream job, you first need to at least post a resume. In this sense, its potential power is greater than that of visualizing a comfortable personal account and faith in being hired

 Asking someone for help often requires overcoming your fears and stepping out of your comfort zone. It really isn't that easy. You can never predict other people's reactions for sure. They have the right to say " no " to you.    Even if you have great relationships with family and friends, asking for help is still not easy. Many people worry about bothering their parents, or about passing on their depression to friends. Or they might be convinced that asking the people close to them for help will make them feel guilty for not giving enough care and love. It may seem that in this case you have to choose between silently enduring your pain and bringing pain to those around you.    But this is a misconception. Your loved ones will worry a lot more if you withhold the reasons for your worries from them.

  Don't even think about quitting your job. It’s fortunate enough you have one! Don't like it? Guess what, nobody does!"  The career strategies of the older and younger generations differ. It is typical for the former to work in one place for a long time. Young people change companies more and more easily.  The older generation tends to disbelieve that work can be something fun. That there are good companies with adequate management, a good salary and other conveniences.  However, one may never find out if they work at the same terrible job their whole lives.

You're giving me a heart attack!  This could be any other link to the manipulator's health. When parents say that their child's actions are harmful to their physical health, they violate the relevance criterion by appealing to emotion rather than logic. 👉🏻 Most of children are likely to be frightened, because such phrases can make them think that their actions are harmful to the loved ones. And then, it is easier for the parents to convince their child of anything. To make it clearer, it actually sounds like this: "If you don't mop the floor immediately, I'm going to die!"

 🔻Do you think that his love is not real because he pays little attention? 🔻If you found out that it is true, how would you feel? 🔻How can you get this feeling in another way? 🔻Can you feed yourself with love? If so, how? 🔻What would you like to ask a partner about? What to find out? 🔻Is there any anxiety due to the fact that the relationship is on the verge of breaking up? 🔻If so, is this belief reasonable or do you just feel that way? ⠀ On the one hand, we are familiar with that feeling when we are not loved. And yes, this feeling can be justified. It’s as if we tend to transfer old experience (our own or someone else's) to the current relationship. ⠀ As for true love, try to understand: what is it? How do you feel it, what do you do and what do you get in return? And most importantly, gradually give this love to yourself. Then you definitely won't make a mistake.

  Wake up as early as possible, exercise, have a good breakfast. The earlier you get out of your bed, the more things you can do throughout your day. If you are full of enthusiasm, ready to make your life full of positive events and things, create a rule for yourself to get up earlier than usual. A good and plentiful breakfast charges your battery for the whole day.  Plentiful start allow you the opportunity to feel over the moon with happiness, because when you just woke up, your body is weakened, make it recharge. Jogging or push-ups from the floor will give you a boost of energy for the whole day.

 Imagine a person working in a company whose management does not appreciate him. He has to work overtime. He is sure that if he does not do this, he will be fired. "If I don't work overtime, I will be fired. I have a young wife, I will not be able to support her and pay the housing bills, and we will lose the roof over our heads." Let's assume that this is exactly how it will be. But so what? Can’t a person ever find another job? Of course he can! Even if it takes time, even if it isn’t his dream job.  The solution : ▫️Before you seal yourself in the "prison" of worries about some life situation, determine the most terrible scenario. ▫️Realize that there are no hopeless situations. ▫️Come up with an action plan to improve the current state of affairs, and move on.

  What happens in your life depends overwhelmingly you yourself. You must take responsibility for every action you take, and not shift it to others. At the same time, you need to remember about some boundaries and limits. There are circumstances that cannot be influenced, and there are always other people around with their own interests and goals. To be responsible for everything that happens is impossible and even destructive. The most telling example: a child feeling guilty about his parents' divorce. By taking responsibility for our own deeds, we gain a resource for personal growth. By trying to take responsibility for circumstances beyond our control, we hinder the development of others and usually begin to doubt our own abilities. That's why it's so important to strike that balance.

 Delayed life Syndrome is dangerous to your overall health, finances, and life in general. It is an illness that must be dealt with. Improving self-esteem, doing things immediately without putting off "for later" will completely save a person from obsessive thoughts, and she or he will become the happiest and healthiest person in the world. 

 They are able to follow what is happening from the external observer position, not getting involved but staying out of the fray .  For example , when the mud from the wheel of a passing car hits you from head to toe, the first reaction is to shout at the offender and tell him or her all you think about it. A conscious person will get out of this situation, and before taking any action, will look at the other side: the offender still would not hear your cry, and even if he or she would, it is unlikely to react. Besides, he or she probably didn't do it on purpose — most likely he or she was just in too much of a hurry, too late, too nervous.  ☝🏻 They are not focused on the past because they know for sure: what's gone, can't be changed. They're also not obsessed with thinking about the future because they keep in mind the fact that we never know what life has in store for us.

 Conscious people know that the best decisions are made not by the mind but by the heart. The mind is limited. Although it tries to take control of all our life, there are secret tendencies, elusive connections, and much more that it can't manage.  The intuition going from the heart is truly sensitive — it is what we need to trust. If you practice these intuitive skills, someday you will notice that you are not just mindlessly going with the flow of events but live every single day of your life with joy and pleasure.

 If you give yourself 30 days to clean your room, it will take you 30 days. If you give yourself three hours, it will take three hours.  The same applies to your goals, plans, and dreams.

  Even if we take no action, our mind often continues fidgeting. According to Wu-Wei, not only the body, but also the mind needs to be quieted. Otherwise we cannot determine whether we are acting following the world's energy flows or just indulging our ego.  ☝🏻Lao Tzu said that anyone and everyone should observe and listen to their own inner voice and to the voices of the environment.

 Living according to the principles of Wu-Wei , means that we must first recognize our connection to everything in nature. Although we need to have clear limits, we also need to remain open and unafraid of vulnerability, just like children running and playing outside the fence of a park. Then we can contemplate nature, feel the flow of the world's energy, and learn to live in harmony with it. ☝🏻 Realizing that the universe is not against us, and that we don't have to confront it, brings a sense of freedom.

 ▫️ Don't argue Oh yes, toxic people are masters at stirring up arguments and scandals. Don't be fooled, try to control your emotions. If you engage in an argument, your opponent will not shy away from even the dirtiest methods and will eventually come out the winner. In addition, this way you will make nothing in order to get out of a toxic relationship, but rather you will get stuck in it even more. ▫️ Change your tactics If you foresee a difficult conversation with a toxic person, think about what you're going to talk about and how you're going to talk. Take the lead, dominate the situation, ask as many questions as you wish, bring that person back to reality, tell them something that matters to you

  The idea of getting out of the comfort zone has long been the butt of jokes. This idea is familiar even to children. It makes sense that a person from a small town would find it strange to hear about stepping out of the comfort zone from a coach living in Manhattan. Yes, uncomfortable life events can bring some progress in your career or personal life, but this kind of thing will only work if you are absolutely used to your current situation and have fenced yourself off from any challenges. In other cases, the comfort zone is the normal state in which you feel mentally safe. If you leave it too often or never come back to it, it is more likely to get mental health problems instead of achieving goals of personal growth.